Breaking the bonds…

March 31, 2007

I resisted Fritos!! I am so proud of myself! I crave salt constantly, and Fritos have always been my favorite form of salt intake. I was at the Circle K, just minutes ago, and I resisted them!!!

Baby steps. Baby steps.

The begining.

March 31, 2007

Everything begins at the beginning. And I suppose this is no different. But how to begin? I like food. Really. And I am appropriately fat, as you would suppose. I’m trying to change that, because I am turning 40 in less than a month and well, I want to live a few more years. Which means I’m going to have to develop a new relationship with food.

I don’t care for eating raw broccoli and carrot spears, those are party nibbles, not a meal. But I realise that I can’t continue eating as I have been. My blood pressure is through the roof, my liver has turned completely to fat and is not functioning properly, I’m even having chest pains! (Shh! Don’t tell my kids.) And frankly, I’m tired of thinking of myself as the fat, frumpy old lady. Yes, this is a full on mid-life crisis (cue FNM), but at least I’m not buying a corvette or finding some 20 something boy to use.

So, how does one go back to just holding hands after having had years of earth shattering sex? That’s what it feels like, you know, when I think of this new relationship I’m going to have to forge.   I’m not really looking forward to it, but I know that is the wrong attitude to have.

I’d like to learn to cook. Really well. I’ve been spending my time with cheap gigolos like Pizza Hut and Cane’s and Burger King. And like the well-trained courtesans they are, they have made me feel wonderful. But I have wasted my body and my emotions on those gorgeous, tawdry morsels and I am awakening to a need for a more permanent, and stable relationship. With food! With food! What did you think I was talking about?

I still want to be able to eat well. And by well I mean food that tastes good, that fills me and makes me happy, and food that is most of all, healthier.

I read an article… somewhere… that said the first few bites of food are those that we truly taste. That after that, our tongues have become desensitized and we no longer truly taste what we’re eating. So that is the thought that is going to carry me into this new relationship. Small portions of excellent food. And I am going to have to learn to cook really well, in order to do that. See, I like bread. And if I’m only going to allow myself once piece of bread, I want it to be fresh and chewy and crispy and dense and… yeah. Not a slice of Wonder bread.

I am a very good cook. I’ve been a mother since I was 17 years old and have had to feed myself and my family for many years. But I live in Northern Louisiana. So the things I cook are fried and stewed and smothered in butter and swimming in sauce. And that is really a shortcut, if you think about it. Put enough butter on a plank of wood and it would taste good, but it’s the butter you’re tasting. Why not cut a chunk of butter and just eat that? It’s the same thing.

Real cooking is taking various ingredients and making their flavors meld and combine into something greater than the sum of it’s parts. And that is what I want to learn.

What got me started on this, a friend took me to an Italian restaurant called Carraba’s (sp), and ordered a starter of Shrimp Scampi. And dared me to try it. And it was wonderful! I could taste the shrimp, which surprisingly was rather good, but also the garlic and the butter and the lemon… and I think, some rosemary… I was so shocked and realised that was how food was supposed to be. It opened my eyes.

I once went to a really fancy, silver dome over the plate, Voila! type of restaurant. And I had filet Mignon with port wine reduction. All I could taste was the port. I’ve been griping about that every since, but it’s only been recently that I realised… I’ve been doing the same thing. With butter and gravy and sour cream…

So yeah, here’s to a new relationship with food. It begins now.


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